


Allegiance: Alliance

by Robin_Mask



Series: Allegiance [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Drama, Established Relationship, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, M/M, Mpreg, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1692341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_Mask/pseuds/Robin_Mask
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were some secrets that could not be told.</p><p>Loki knew that he risked losing everything. Thor had yet to uncover how the war truly began, what part Loki had played, and - most of all - what alliances had made it possible. It was time that Thor learned the truth, but the only question was whether Loki was too late . . . whether he would lose it all . . . </p><p>He did not know if he could be forgiven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilycxavier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilycxavier/gifts).



> This is a companion piece to "Allegiance". 
> 
> It is a two-shot story, which combines several requests from readers. 
> 
> It is dedicated primarily to lilycxavier, but also Ravenprincess and jadedheart25.

# Chapter One

****

“So you will be that emissary?”

 

Loki drew in deep breath. The words of Odin held a heavy weight; he could feel the pressure of those words upon him, along with the solemnity and hint of scepticism, and with every second that passed between them it felt as if Odin sought to analyse and judge him. There was doubt writ across the face of his father-in-law, so that it was clear he believed Loki incapable of sincerity, and yet there was a subtle pull upon his lips that showed an interest at the chance to advance the agenda of their realm.

 

It was difficult to make an accurate guess as to how Odin would react to the proposition, for – whilst it clearly worked in the old king’s best interests – there was a great risk that Loki sought to deceive him and held his true motives hidden. He would no doubt have to weigh the benefits against the risk carefully, for one faulty decision would result in vast damage and deaths of many. Odin was not a fool. He knew well that Loki would only offer such a proposition should there be something within the offer of benefit to himself, as such he could not agree until he was certain that any hidden motives proved no threat to their realm, which was likely impossible to prove.

 

“That I would,” said Loki. “This would benefit us both greatly.”

 

The silence that followed felt as cold as the night air. It was a relief to Loki to feel the fresh air upon his skin, for the pregnancy had forced upon him a fever that he could barely endure, and with each day the fever seemed to grow immensely. Odin had done a kindness to allow this meeting to take place upon the balcony, for the cold air allowed for a clear mind and little distraction. Any break from his usual discomfort was most welcomed indeed. He relished in the moment.

 

Odin stood beside the balcony and rested a hand regally upon the railing, although he kept his working eye firm upon the younger man beside him. It was difficult to feel under such scrutiny, but Loki took solace in the fact that he no longer was supervised and guarded, as such the only times when he felt under examination were the times when he chose to be examined as such. He looked out across the landscape of Asgard. Their realm was beautiful indeed, with a vast amount of lights and life beneath his sights, and it was clear in that moment why Odin stove so hard to protect their people, for this was a realm worth protecting. Loki knew that he could do nought to jeopardise their people either, but sometimes a little risk could be a good thing.

 

It seemed that their eyes both fell upon the bridge at the same moment, a fact that came to light when Odin shifted his gaze and caught the place where his son-in-law focussed. It was enough to jolt Loki away from his considerations and back into the moment, although a part of him wondered when his husband would return and what would occur should he learn of these talks, and yet he was grateful that Thor was far away at such a time as this. Odin raised his head and turned his body to face the younger man’s. It was an almost intimidating position.

 

“What benefit does this bring you, Loki?”

 

“It is interesting that you ask me that,” he replied. “I hold no belief that you would trust my words even should I speak the truth, but the best kept secret is often hidden in plain sight. I will tell you, although I know it shall mean nothing to you.”

 

“Aye, it matters not what you say, for should I agree to this bargain of yours then we shall never speak of it again. It would not do for the Allfather to be implicated in your schemes, as such if your doings are discovered then I shall deny all knowledge of the part that you have played, and yet it seems that you consider this a risk worth taking. You have just avoided imprisonment, you would risk that again?”

 

“I believe that I risk nothing.”

 

Odin did not look to Loki at such a response, but instead to Loki’s swollen stomach, where the younger man held his hands clasped under the rounded bulge as if he could somehow lessen the burden of the weight. There was a sudden softness to his eyes, so that the love and worry he felt for his unborn granddaughter shone through, and yet Loki felt nothing but a bitter resentment at that fact. He wondered how Odin had looked to him upon first holding him; did he look to him with that same kindness?

 

“Very well, then I will say this and only this: I would have you speak some semblance of the truth, so that I may know what you may stand to gain from this offer to act as emissary of our realm to the Jotun race. To instigate war is no small matter.”

 

“I believe that Thor’s love for me is so strong that he will not abandon me should he discover the truth; even if he does become disillusioned by the fact that I have lied to him once more, he will still remain loyal to me. I will not lose my husband. The simple fact is that this war would secure my place and my daughter’s, for should I be allowed to contribute to our victory then no one will ever be able to doubt my loyalties again. My daughter will not be mocked for having an _argr_ father, for I will have proved my manhood along with my worth, as such she will suffer no shame.

 

“There is also the fact that we will gain greater control of Jotunheim. I do not propose that we shall rule them or do anything to harm them, for such a suggestion would cost me my marriage and cause doubt to be cast upon me, but – let me say – a broken Jotunheim is a Jotunheim that poses no threat. We may be able to use that to our advantage, whether that means we start afresh as comrades or simply take pleasure in that they shall never prove a threat to us again. Asgard will gain security and safety.”

 

“There is no doubt some small grain of truth to your words.”

 

“You mean to say that you do not believe me.”

 

There was a brief moment of silence. It was clear that Odin knew well that Loki hid many of his true motives, instead throwing him half-truths under the illusion of something more, and likewise Loki did not expect complete honesty from his father-in-law in turn. The sound of people milling to and fro could be heard in the distance, along with the sound of a breeze blowing through, and Loki instinctively turned into the wind. It felt good against his skin.

 

Loki let out a heavy breath as he felt his daughter kick from inside him, enough so that it caught him unawares and caused him to wince slightly, even as he strove to maintain an image of strength before the Allfather. It was enough to remind him of her presence, as if she kicked purposely simply to remind him not act or speak hastily so long as their existence was tied together. He rested his hand against the green cotton of his tunic, having long replaced the heavier wools and leathers with lighter materials, and felt the outline of what seemed to be a small hand. He quickly withdrew his hand and battled a sudden feeling of nausea. It was impossible to get used to the feelings of his daughter alive in side him; he couldn’t wait for the birth.

 

“You act out of self-interest,” said Odin.

 

“Don’t we all?” Loki replied.

 

“It is lucky that our interests overlap. This war is necessary in order to protect our realm; our people were at the brink of a civil war over your imprisonment, and so this external enemy will provide a vital distraction and bring them together in a worthy cause. It will also reassert our authority over the Jotun people and prevent them from further attack upon our state, and so it is a purging that it most needed.

 

“It cannot be denied that you show the attributes that would make a good king, but I fear that I have instilled in you such sentiments that would lead to the demise of many and _have_ led to the demises of many. You know what it means to rule, but you seek to rule too much. You cannot kill those you despise just for being despised, just as you cannot imprison a race simply as you think they ought to be imprisoned. It is my belief that – in time – you and Thor may rule together, for you complement each other well and would prove a good match, but there is much to fear of your advice and judgement. Until you learn what it means to be a _true_ ruler, you must not be trusted.

 

“This war – this _child_ – may teach you how to be both a ruler and a man. You have already displayed an admirable self-sacrifice for the sake of your child, but the _true_ self-sacrifice is that of a man that will put his needs after those of all others, and so far all you have done is to suit yourself. You love your daughter, so you put her first, but you put her first because it suited _your want_ to do so . . . you gained a sense of peace and satisfaction, which makes a seemingly selfless act into a selfish one.”

 

“I love my daughter unconditionally. You would call me a bad father based on my absolute desire to see her come first and foremost in all things? You would accuse me of being a bad ruler out of a need to see my child happy?”

 

“Would you banish your daughter for the good of your realm?”

 

“No.”

 

“Would you disown your daughter for the good of your realm?”

 

“ _No._ ”

 

Odin gave a smile that seemed almost sad. It pulled at the corner of his lips just as his eye seemed to narrow almost painfully, and in that expression – one that lasted perhaps all of a second – Loki sensed great conflict. The emotion was gone almost as soon as it was expressed, instead replaced by a solemn look of detachment and objective analysis, and suddenly the man before Loki felt no longer a man at all, but a ruler first and foremost and incapable of expressing the truth of himself. Odin looked Loki in the eyes and gave a subtle nod of acknowledgement.

 

“A good father,” admitted Odin, “but a bad king.”

 

It was a difficult sentiment to accept, but one that Loki could appreciate. The truth was that Loki – after all he had endured and all he had learned – knew well what sacrifice was and the cost of ruling a realm. He could not fault his father-in-law for putting their people before all else, and yet he felt the idea of putting his daughter behind anything or anyone else appalling and reprehensible. It was admittedly selfish to put his daughter before his realm, but he could do nothing else. He loved her.

 

Odin was an admirable leader, but he would never agree with Loki’s method upon ruling or his new set of priorities, and yet he Loki wondered if – long ago – he would not have acted exactly as his father-in-law currently did. The truth was that his daughter had changed him by her very existence, whilst reopening old insecurities and making him reconsider what it meant to be a parent and how best to balance his duties, and suddenly he felt a strange combination of appreciation and resentment towards the man that had once been his father. He knew not how to juggle his duties as of yet, but he did know how to best balance his interests.

 

“Regardless,” Odin said, “we both express a compatible desire for war. It will benefit our realm, as well as test my son’s loyalties and strength, along with your worth and purpose. Do you truly think you can achieve this? Will you act as the emissary?”

 

“I do. I shall. It is no secret that my husband seeks to act as an emissary to assuage the minds of the Jotun and circumvent war before it begins, but it is also no secret that my magic is great and I can project my image just as well as my mother can create such projections. I need not my power of illusion, but merely time alone to meditate and concentrate, preferably with a large body of water to make the spell easier to cast. I will enter their realm before Thor arrives to talk at length to their leader.

 

“I believe that a few simple words will be enough to convince them to declare war and name the day of battle, at which point we can unite our realm against a common foe and stabilise our conflicted family with a steady alliance. There is another tool that I would use to secure this; I believe that with a carefully placed ‘gift’ to the Jotun ruler by Thor, it would secure their utmost trust in myself and their utter disdain with those that would rule Asgard. The Jotun may not trust me, for I have decimated sections of their race and brought ruin on their landscape, but I am also of their blood and have great reason to hate Asgard and the Allfather. They will trust me, just so long as they have reason to distrust Thor. _The enemy of my enemy is my friend_.”

 

Odin seemed to consider this for a long moment. He looked at Loki slowly from head unto toe, only pausing to consider the swollen stomach that was set to bear the next heir at any moment, and when he looked away he did so with a harsh exhale of breath. It was clear that he thought hard about the offer presented to him, one that benefited both men and their realm also, and so he turned to look at the palace behind them. The meeting-rooms of the Allfather shimmered brightly and were almost a distraction.

 

“This gift that you would seek to give them . . .”

 

It was clear that he had caught the interest of their king, but Loki also saw that this was a discussion to be continued indoors and in guaranteed privacy. The way that Odin turned to observe the meeting rooms made it clear what he intended, especially so when he began his quick-paced stride towards the indoors, and Loki had no option but to strive to keep up. He struggled under the weight of his unborn daughter.

 

They entered the rooms quite quickly from the balcony, enough that it barely interrupted the movement of their discussion at all, but Loki could not help but resent this change of environment. The heat of the fire to the side of the room hit him as if he had been dropped into a realm of flames wearing nothing but furs, so that he felt a struggle for breath as the humidity of the air choked him with its density. He allowed his head to clear and tried to remain grateful that Odin allowed the doors to stay open, for he could have easily have closed them, but instead he remained conscious of Loki’s predicament, and yet it wasn’t enough to quell his discomfort.

 

“I trust you remember the story you taught me of our lost queen?”

 

“Aye,” said Odin. “I taught you that story to teach you about the tolerance of our ancestors and the union that could be yet gained between our races, and yet all you seemingly remembered were the descriptions of the monsters we fought, as if those monsters were representative of your entire race. I will admit to some prejudice, but you were the one soul that I never felt such prejudice against.”

 

“It matters not what lesson you sought to teach. The lesson learned was one that will suit us well, perhaps _far_ better than any fable moral about ‘tolerance’ ever could. The truth of that tale was that our queen was a Jotun, as such her death in battle was seen as a great disservice by our kind and an act of negligence by our king, for the woman he had sworn to protect – the woman that the Jotun entrusted to us – had died whilst in our care. It mattered not that our king grieved over a lost love; for the belief was that he had only loved her as a master would a pet . . . he was indirectly responsible.

 

“The blade that felled her was one gifted to her by her husband on her wedding day, with the express intent that she should use it against our king should she ever feel unsafe or disrespected, and – rumour has it – she had no reason to look upon that blade during all her marriage. It is known that she was killed by this dagger, but not by whom. There are Jotun that see this as proof that she died by our king’s hands.”

 

“What good would it bring to gift this to the Jotun ruler?”

 

“Ah, that is the crux of the matter.”

 

Loki tried to smile, but the heat of the room and the exhaustion of his body had grown too much, to the point that his entire energy had been spent on trying to remain standing. There was a minor cramp to his stomach, enough to remind him that labour would not be many days from now, and yet he knew that he could not show weakness at such an important moment as this. He needed to convince Odin. It was vital in order to prove his worth and regain his complete freedom.

 

It was a relief when Odin took a seat by a large table, where he gestured to a seat opposite himself where Loki could sit. Loki took the opportunity gratefully. It would have been impossible to sit without the permission of the Allfather, but even with such permission he would have been reluctant to lower himself before another in any way, and – as such – it seemed that the Allfather had taken that consideration in mind and sat so that Loki could in turn. Loki sat awkwardly and felt grateful for the table before him, for it enabled him to spread his legs and lean on the surface, both of which provided a great relief and space for the bulge that was his unborn child.

 

“The story that I shall spin to Thor shall be – shall we say – _ambiguous_ ,” said Loki. “He shall believe an Asgardian queen to have been slain by a Jotun, with this dagger belonging to the Jotun and kept by our king as a battle trophy. It will spur him to present this blade to the Jotun ruler as a peace offering; he will return to them what he shall believe to be their rightful property, believing the insinuation to be that we are showing forgiveness for a great slight. To the Jotun, however . . .”

 

“They shall see it as a taunt. It may even be that they shall see it as an unspoken threat as to what shall happen to them, for if we could slay our queen for her Jotun blood then what does that speak of their race? It will cement their trust in you.”

 

“Indeed. They will follow my advice. They will declare war.”

 

“Aye, there would be no other choice.”

 

Loki gave a subtle smirk. He rested his hands upon his swollen abdomen; it was an instinctive act that had often been of benefit around Thor, who often became distracted by the bulge and took pity upon one he saw as ‘helpless’ in his new state, and had led to victory in many a disagreement. The gesture was lost upon Odin, who ignored emotional bias in favour of rational objectivity, but it did have _one_ interesting affect upon the older man. It reminded him of the ‘choices’ forced upon Loki.

 

“Do you feel no empathy for your people?” Odin asked.

 

“Did you feel empathy for me? No, I was merely a necessary means to an end. My child cemented my relationship to Thor, whilst placating our people and stabilising our realm . . . no more, no less. This war serves a similar purpose, it is merely a means to achieve what it necessary, and as such I will take about as much pity upon them as was taken upon me. I realise that Thor will not share my views, however . . .

 

“It will be necessary to keep this secret from my husband. He would prevent this war and make peace with the Jotun, in which case we would _both_ lose. I would lose my chance to secure my reputation and my freedom, both of which can only be earned in battle, and you would lose the chance to unite our realm and defeat a long-standing threat to our people. I have already made means to secure my alibi. There are natural medicines that are used to induce labour, and – if you arrange these meetings for a time when I would be due to birth my child – I may safely use them to an advantage, assuming labour does not naturally begin in that timeframe.

 

“You _know_ how magic works. You know that should I be in labour that maintaining a spell will be so much more difficult, as such no one – at least with any basic understanding of magical projection – will assume that I have acted as the emissary. It will be difficult, almost impossible if I leave it too late, but I am _certain_ that I can time it just right and present myself as emissary to the Jotun. I will speak between contractions and focus on working through the pain, and as such nature will provide an alibi that no person ever could. Even Loki cannot do the impossible, they will say.”

 

“There is indeed much to consider . . .”

 

Odin drew in a deep breath. There would not be long for him to make his decision, for the war talks had already begun and the day of battle was already being planned, and so any delays would be detrimental to their men and their preparations. He gave a stern look to Loki, as if he tried to ascertain whether it would be best to agree to his proposition or ignore it entirely. There was only one course of action and Loki knew this, and – as such – he knew that Odin had no choice but to agree.

 

“Very well, Loki.”

 

He stood slowly and purposely from his seat, so that Loki felt compelled to stand also out of respect. The very action was a difficult one, which caused him to place both hands upon the table for leverage, and he felt a deep ache in his joints as he rose. It would be a relief to finally leave these rooms, for Thor had kindly made their own much cooler with the reason that it would be easier for Thor to warm up than it would be for Loki to cool down, and – as such – he felt desperate to return to his space.

 

“The guards shall bring the dagger to your rooms within this evening,” said Odin. “I trust you shall hide it well until Thor returns and you find an appropriate moment to present it to him. You will also act as emissary before Thor. Talk of this to no one.”

 

“How sweet, you think that someone would believe me.”

 

“There is no one better at keeping secrets.”

  
It was a great insult, but Loki bore it well. The truth was that Loki was famed for his duplicitous tongue and mischievous nature, so he could understand the subtle attacks upon his character and lack of trust, but he felt grateful that the trust was so thin. It was true that they may no longer believe his lies, but that only meant it was necessary to change his tactics somewhat. He had found it easier than ever to manipulate those around him as of late, simply because he was able to _use_ their distrust . . .

 

He only hoped that one day he could reveal all to Thor, that perhaps their relationship would evolve past such trickery, for he wanted them to stand as true equals, but for now he would do what was needed in order to secure his place and his daughter’s. Odin walked around the table and stood beside him, where – as if sensing the other’s presence – his daughter kicked him quite hard from inside. Loki brought his hand to the spot just beneath his ribs, as he wondered if her new positioning indicated an inevitable labour, but Odin distracted him by placing his hand over his. It was paternal and sincere. It was as if he sought to remind Loki of his true duty. 

 

“Do what you must, Loki.”


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter Two **

****

_‘You release him! You release him now!’_

_Thor strove to step forward, but the touch of his mother forbade him movement. He could feel her hands pressed hard against his chest, as she sought to use all her strength to hold him back, and he feared pushing back lest he cause her harm. It was difficult to find the patience to rein in his anger, but her presence provided him with some comfort and held a calming effect. She acted as his anchor._

_He drew in a deep and staggered breath and pulled away. It was uncomfortable to be so exposed before her, but more so to feel her bare hands upon his bare chest. There was a feeling of regret that he had stormed out of his rooms so late at night without first donning some form of shirt, but the night had seemed to stand impossibly still and each second without Loki had felt an eternity, and as he tried to sleep upon suggestion of his father – the space on the bed beside him empty and cold – he could only feel his irritation grow and fester. Did no one worry? Did no one care? No one could recall seeing Loki all day. No one knew where he hid._

_‘This test of yours is over,’ Thor said coldly._

_The air in the room felt surprisingly warm, although he perhaps could assume it was simply the way that his blood boiled that warmed his body. He could feel the cold stones of the floor beneath his bare feet, which sent loud slaps throughout the room with every stamp of his foot, and only his sleeping-bottoms covered his modesty. Loki would have chastised him for having traipsed about the palace in such attire, but that was the issue: his husband could not be found. Thor’s hand shook by his side as he clenched his fist, whilst his heartbeat sounded loudly in his ears like a war-drum._

_‘Thor, my son,’ said Frigga kindly. ‘You must calm yourself.’_

_‘I will not! You -!’ Thor turned to face Odin. ‘You told me not to worry! You told me to stop searching and to retire to bed! Have you no heart? Have you no soul? You would sleep soundly whilst Loki lies in prison believing himself to be unloved?’_

_‘You will show respect to your king!’ Odin cried._

_Odin slammed down Gungnir hard upon the floor. The sound was enough to silence both mother and son, although Thor found it almost impossible to remain quiet as he waited for his father to continue to speak. It was difficult to relent and obey the command of one that would act with such seeming cruelty, whose actions had brought nothing but pain upon so many of their realm, and yet Thor could do nought but try to hold onto the belief that his father acted with their best interests at heart. At the very least, he had imprisoned Loki and tested Loki for the safety of their realm, even if it had meant the sacrifice of their family unit in the process._

_Thor looked across to where his father stood, only a few feet from him in the antechamber to his parents’ rooms, and yet – despite being so close – his mother acted as an immovable obstacle. He could not reach his father without forcing his mother to one side, which was unforgivable to him as it would be to Loki, and as such he remained in place with heavy breaths and tense muscles. There was an uncomfortable sweat upon his body, broken by anger and stress combined._

_‘You ask for the respect that you would deny Loki?’_

_‘Our realm must come before all else. I had thought you matured since your recent travels, especially since your sacrifice to wed Loki, but it seems that you are still unwilling to put politics before personal ties. Loki was a threat; it was my duty to see that he had repented and could be redeemed, for – in this time of war – he may have betrayed us all. I would not see a single drop of Asgardian blood spilt needlessly.’_

_‘Your logic is flawed; Loki carries in him the heir to our realm, and as such he carries with him the future of our people! To put our realm first is to put Loki first! This test was as needless as it was cruel! You will release my husband at once! I care not that you wish for him to remain there for another day; you will release him now!’_

_‘You will think before you speak! I am your father and I am your ruler!’_

_‘You are nothing but the monster you claim Loki to be!’_

_‘Silence, Thor!’_

_Thor growled dangerously. He would not be silenced when his husband was forced to remain in such a purgatorial state, least of all when Loki needed the advice and examination of a healer. Loki had kept his pregnancy secret all of this time, so that he had no doubt hidden this from everyone including those that could professionally help him, and as such Thor worried about his child’s safety. He loathed every second that Loki was kept away from such help. He loathed that Loki suffered so._

_It was then that he moved to strike his father, as instinct kicked in and rage consumed him, but his mother intervened again and came at once before him. Her hand rested upon his forearm, whilst her other pressed hard against his chest, and as she stood before him it forced him to reconsider his actions. He knew that his mother was not weak, for she had taught Loki how to fight and had defended herself on several occasions, but the very thought of risking her harm appalled him. She seemed more fragile than ever in her nightwear. Her hair fell loose about her shoulders and back, whilst her nightdress hid her figure from sight. He felt a twinge of shame that he had disturbed her from her sleep. He pulled back and breathed deep._

_The fire centre of the room acted as the only source of illumination, for it was too early in the morning for any true lighting to be in place, and so it gave the impression of vulnerability that the light of day would have perhaps hidden. He almost allowed himself to become distracted, but Odin walked before the fire and gazed into it as if he could see something that Thor could not. There was a long moment of silence, enough that he began to feel an inclining of guilt at having insulted his father so, but those feelings did not have long to grow before Odin spoke._

_‘Do you truly believe I care nothing for your husband?’_

_That was a question that caught Thor unawares. He paused to look down at his bare chest and hands, where he thought about how easy such a disagreement would be if he could just fight as he was used to, but instead he was forced to act the patient ruler that he had been raised to be. It was difficult to think as a ruler without Loki by his side to guide him, but he was not dependent on his husband. He was an intelligent man and knew what was best for himself and Loki. He would hold his tongue._

_‘I know not what to believe,’ Thor admitted._

_‘Let me confess to you the truth of the matter then,’ said Odin. ‘I fear that I have taught you too well about duty and honour, but not enough about the balance of power and the sacrifice of rule. It is my sole hope that – with Loki as your advisor – you shall learn to put your people before all else, for no individual can ever come before the group. You must learn not to let your realm suffer for your personal ties and selfish desire to prioritise those you love._

_‘Do you think that your people have no loved ones as you do? Do you not think that they hurt and bleed and cry? We must always remember that we hold the lives of an entire race within the palm of our hand. Every action that we take will affect each and every Asgardian. The truth is that I love Loki dearly, just as I shall always love him, for he was once my son. I raised him with great affection, I watched him grow under my care, and I have a feeling of responsibility for all he has become. Do not – for an instant – think that I have forgotten what it is that I owe Loki. He is dear to my heart._

_‘The fact is that our people must come first; you would have been disowned also, had you acted as rashly and abhorrently as Loki had done. I have never discriminated between you both, nor would I do so now. There was great need to punish our youngest prince to show our people that our rules are absolute and that no one is exempt, just as it was necessary to disown Loki completely so that this marriage could come about and he be freed from his prison. Do not doubt my love._

_‘This was not an easy matter. Every action had innumerable potential consequences; there had to be consideration for the Jotuns’ reactions, the opinions of our people, as well as the legality of every act and the wishes of my wife and son. The actions I have taken have been those that best sate the needs of all, as is my duty as king._

_‘I hold great affection for Loki. I am merely forbid to express it.’_

_‘I apologise, Father.’_

_It seemed that he had underestimated his father. He would need to make amends at a later date, but in the meantime he felt a great sense of guilt and an envy of Loki’s innate understanding of those around them. There was no doubt in his mind that his husband would have understood his father’s motives and reasoning, without the need to have been told in such an explicit way, but that was perhaps where they differed._

_Loki understood the minds of others, but cared not about their emotions so long as he felt that their realm prospered and his ideals were being realised, whereas Thor strove to put the emotional well being of those around him before all else, even if sometimes he initially missed the subtle hints or the unspoken sentiments. He acknowledged his weakness – just as he acknowledged Loki’s – and thought hard about what his father endured, for to disown Loki must have been no easy feat. One question lingered in his mind: what if it was Frigga that was so deeply hurt? Odin swore that he would put his people before all else, but had his queen been hurt then it was likely he would have acted exactly as Loki had been condemned for doing . . ._

_‘I fear that you do not love Loki as much as you claim,’ said Thor._

_‘Aye, I love him_ more _than I can claim,’ Odin confessed. ‘The truth of the matter was that I had always found it far easier to relate to you. Your mother in turn clung more to Loki, so that he would not feel neglected, but she also found his personality easier to understand. It may seem that our love is bias, – a fault that I shall acknowledge as my own – but we never held favourites. It is difficult to talk to Loki, to express such feelings, but I have always felt for him no more or less than I have felt for you.’_

‘I do not doubt what you say. You are an honest man, but you have locked Loki away and confirmed his worst fears! You have made him feel as if he is worthless! I know that he is no longer your son, but you treat him worse than an enemy!’

_‘It was not my intent, I can assure you.’_

_Odin walked to the fire and looked into it. The gaze upon his face was stern and steady, as if he could read into the flames some deeper meaning, and he clasped his hands behind him in an almost casual manner. It reminded Thor a little of the mannerisms of his husband, except his father stood much straighter and allowed a spark of humanity across his expression. He appeared regal, but approachable. There was a long moment of silence that followed, where Thor was forced to collect his thoughts and recover his patience, but soon Odin spoke and revealed all._

_‘It is easy to forget that Loki is my son-in-law,’ said Odin, ‘simply as I cannot forget that he is no longer my son. These tests are no different to the tests presented to you, such as your stay upon Midgard, but these are the actions of a father that seeks to make sure his son learns from his mistakes and grows as a person. It is nothing more than a mistaken thought. Loki is no longer my son and will never be.’_

_‘That does not sound like a failing to me,’ replied Thor. ‘It is a relief to know that you still think so highly of Loki, but this is a sentiment that you should express to him! He deserves to know that he still holds your love! You cannot let him think otherwise!’_

_‘It is – unfortunately – of benefit to let him believe otherwise.’_

_‘I do not understand.’_

_Thor turned to face his father, but he noticed that his mother no longer forced her way between the two men. It was perhaps that she sensed the change in the air, or rather that she perhaps knew the two too well, but – whatever the reason – she seemed to believe that her son no longer proved a threat to his father. She stepped to one side and clasped her hands before her, as she gave both men the space they needed to continue their conversation. He felt grateful for her presence._

_  
It was then that he felt the heat of the room. He wondered if the rooms had been kept that way purposely, as if to make uncomfortable those who intruded upon their king’s private space, or rather – most likely – Odin had forgotten the antechamber upon retiring to the bedchamber for the evening. Thor drew in a sigh and walked to his father’s side. He stood beside him with a dark frown and tried to remain calm, although he could not find as much interest in the flames as his father seemed to find, and beside the older man he felt significantly smaller. This was the man that he had always strove to be like, the person that he wished to become, and now he felt alienated from him . . . he did not know how to reconcile those feelings._

_‘Loki has proven that he cannot be trusted,’ said Odin. ‘It is clear that – should he believe himself to be in my graces – he would return to his attempts to gain favour, attempts that resulted in the deaths of many, or that he would strive to manipulate those emotions in order to further his personal goals. The likelihood is that Loki will never be trustworthy, as such I must not let personal feelings cloud my judgement.’_

_Thor clenched his fists and looked down at the embers. It was difficult to hear his husband’s name slandered so, especially when Loki had proven that he was able to put others before himself, and yet he could understand his father’s doubts. There was a sense of relief that Loki would be released, that he had proven that he could yet be redeemed, and even relief that he would have his husband by his side once more, but still he felt a fury unlike any other: Loki deserved better than this._

_‘Get dressed, Thor.’_

_The command came so sudden that it surprised Thor. He turned to face his father, but Odin merely began a slow walk back to his bedchamber and stopped short of the door. It was clear that the conversation had reached an end, especially when his father kept his back to him, and yet Thor realised that there was something else to be said. He listened carefully to what his father said next, as he hoped for the best._

_‘You will return here when you are dressed appropriately. I will release Loki, but there will remain several conditions in place to his release. Once these conditions have been discussed you may go to him.’_

_‘I will go to him now! I will not have him wait a minute longer!’_

_‘I do not think Loki would appreciate such attire, do you?’_

_Thor looked away and frowned in frustration. It would have been easy to argue back, but he held his took in deference to the fact that he knew his father was right. He could not walk about the palace and dungeons barefooted and bare-chested, just as he knew that Loki would be furious were he to try, and yet every second spent away from his husband’s side meant a second longer that he suffered. Thor sighed and turned around to leave, but his father stopped him with two words:_

_‘And Thor?’_

_Thor stopped and looked over his shoulder. He could only see the back of his father, who seemed as reluctant to face his son as the son was his father, but he could hear the sensitivity to the older man’s voice and hint of pain. Frigga had moved by her husband’s side, perhaps so that she too could dress and later join Thor so as to accompany him to the dungeons. She loved Loki too much to leave him. Odin broke the silence just as Thor made to leave, but his tone betrayed the authority and indifference that he tried to convey. He sounded hurt._

_‘Loki does not need to know of what we have spoken.’_

_‘You would have him believe you hate him?’_

_‘Aye, I would . . .’_

* * *

 

“Loki, you will fix this now!”

 

It was difficult to remain calm under such fury. Thor strode forward far faster than he had intended, with his throat now sore from the volume with which he had roared, and the anger he felt must surely have been evident; the few servants in the gardens scattered immediately on sight of him. Loki stood alone in the shade with a large basin of water before him, but – even with his back to Thor – it seemed his husband was adamant on denying him his attention. He did not turn to look at Thor.

 

Thor shouted his husband’s name loudly once more, but the younger man predictably continued to focus his attention on the water and whatever magic he strove to cast. There was no longer anyone else within earshot, as such they were guaranteed some privacy to talk freely, but Thor did not stop until he was on the other side of the basin and looking directly at his husband. He would not risk being overheard. It was then that he drew in a deep breath and ran a hand through his short hair, as he wondered how long it would take for Loki to look upon him, but it seemed that Loki felt his magic to be of greater priority than what he would term a ‘tantrum’ of his husband.

 

“I mean it, Loki, you will fix this.”

 

Thor threw two halves of one sword to the ground beside Loki’s feet. The other man merely gave a passing look to his right side, glared at the broken blade, and continued to trace patterns on the water’s surface. Thor watched as his husband pushed back a long lock of black hair, which fell somewhere to his mid-back, and then gave a heavy sigh as he placed both hands on the edges of the basin and lowered his head. It gave the eerie effect of making his hair curtain his face and hide him from view.

 

“You wish me to fix a _sword_?”

 

The cold air seemed to do his husband good, for the fever he had felt earlier in the day did not seem to plague him as much as it had done. It was a relief that winter had fallen upon them, so that this pregnancy seemed to be somewhat easier than the previous two, and yet – when Loki looked up – there was such venom in his expression that Thor felt almost ready to back down. Loki was in no gaming mood.

 

“I wish for you to fix what _broke_ the sword.”

 

“Indeed? May I ask what he has done _this_ time?”

 

Thor drew in a deep breath. He looked to the swell of his husband’s stomach to remind himself to rein in his temper, for it would not do to induce stress on one that had so much to carry already. It was easy to forget that Loki had spent much of the day with the healers and resting in the garden, as such he would not be aware the problems that his son had wrought, but Thor had not the disposition or understanding to deal with such matters. Fríða he could understand, but Kóri seemed only to listen to Loki and no one else. He knew not how to resolve the issue.

 

“Kóri refuses to attend his studies! Fríða has bested many of her tutors in mock-battle, but I have yet to see Kóri raise his sword once! I tried to convince him of the import of warfare, but he used magic to lock himself in a secret room of the library! He even broke his sword when I demanded that he come out at once! I can no longer find him and nor will your son answer me! He has hidden completely!”

 

“ _My_ son? It always astounds me that he is only _my_ son when he misbehaves.”

 

“Aye, because he gets that misbehaviour from you.”

 

“Yet when he behaves he is _your_ son?”

 

It was difficult to deny that Thor misbehaved often as a child. He – like his daughter – had often sought out adventure and battle no matter the cost, desperate to prove his worth and find the rush of adrenaline he so desired. The fact was that he could understand such battle-lust and the thrill of bloodshed, and as such he knew how to best temper Fríða’s arrogance and could teach her the self-discipline she so needed, but Kóri was a mystery to him.  He could not guide him.

 

Kóri combined the best and worst of both parents, so that he held a remarkable balance of skill in battle and in magic. He fought more like Loki in style, but was not unafraid of close combat or to wield larger weapons, and yet he seemed to Thor lazy and unfocussed. He found it difficult to chastise a child that would not listen, just as he found it difficult to punish a child indifferent to punishments, and Loki – the sole person that their son would pay mind to – felt it best to give him space and distance. It was infuriating, but such childish comebacks of Loki’s did not help.

 

“That is not the point,” Thor muttered.

 

“It never is,” said Loki coldly. “Kóri is a very gifted child. He excels in both magic and combat and seeks to combine the two. You will find that his teachers will not allow him to use magic in battle, it is . . . _unmanly_. I have no doubt that he feels that he is not being challenged and believes his tutors to be the mindless simpletons that they are, unable to think beyond the orthodox. Find him new tutors.”

 

“I have found him the best tutors of all Nine Realms! It is not a matter of being disallowed to use magic, but that he must learn to master _both_ arts individually! If you think that his tutors are inept, then _you_ teach him! He listens to you!”

 

“I taught him the basics of magic. He prefers to learn the rest alone.”

 

“Teach him to battle, the way Mother taught you . . .”

 

It was then that his husband’s face fell. He at once lost the sternness to his to his features; his lips became instead a bitter line, whereas his eyes softened and appeared to look almost distractedly towards the water. There was a brief moment where Thor thought his husband to be lost entirely in thought, with his face now paled and body now lax in posture, but the eventual movement of Loki proved that the other man was still with him and not lost to memories past. Loki moved to sit down upon a nearby bench, where his hands came to rest upon the swell to his stomach. This child would be their last, as such it seemed that Loki treasured the pregnancy more.

 

The air had begun to feel cold, which served as a reminder of how the early winter nights had finally fallen upon them, and Thor began to dread the evening to come. There would be no way for his husband to sleep when there were furs and blankets, or if the space were too enclosed, whilst Thor could not sleep without his husband by his side, and – as such – he anticipated a night spent in a bitterly cold room and little protection from the weather. It would continue until the pregnancy ended.

 

Thor moved to sit beside Loki and gently brushed back his husband’s hair, so that the long locks fell free from his face, and then allowed himself a small intimacy and stroked the back of his neck. He eventually let his hand fall and allowed it to rest between them. It was uncomfortable to sit in his full armour, but he had not the time to change attire before his search for Loki, and he had no doubt that his armour would quickly be removed upon return to their rooms. There were some benefits to Loki’s pregnancies that he could not deny. It was then Loki broke the silence:

 

“Mother had a patience that I lack,” said Loki.

 

“Kóri needs a teacher, Loki. If he will not learn from those we employ, he must learn from the one who bore him instead. Mother never lost faith in you . . . do not lose faith in her now that she has gone. She believed in you, as do I.”

 

“You truly think that she would still trust in me? It is my fault that she is dead, Thor. Your eldest son is now a grown-man and doing great service on Midgard, whilst our three children –” he stroked his stomach purposely “– are healthy and contented, but yet I have denied her the chance to see any of this. She has not met Kóri, nor will she meet Valdís when she is born to us, but you would trust me to _teach_ our son?” 

 

“Loki, I do not blame you for her death. How long has this preyed upon your mind? The war was inevitable and would have occurred no matter what your part, and – although I know there is much you have to reveal – you are not guilty of her murder.”

 

“I have hidden much from you, Thor.”

 

Those words were barely audible. It seemed that there was a hint of shame in that confession, but no longer the fear that would have once plagued his husband’s words. Thor reached out to take Loki’s hand, where he gently held it in his in the small space between them, and he heard a soft sigh of relief as Loki’s hand pressed against the cool stone of the bench. He rubbed light circles onto the hand beneath his with his thumb, as he tried to remain calm and listen to Loki. Thor only hoped that if Loki could unburden himself that it might encourage him to spend more time with Kóri. 

 

“Tell me now, Loki,” he said.

 

“Do you think a heartfelt confession will rebuild my confidence? Of course! Why did I not think of it sooner? The love of my husband and a sincere apology will surely cleanse my guilt -! _Thor_ . . . Kóri deserves better than a teacher such as myself.”

 

Loki pulled his hand away. It did not upset Thor that his husband required some space in that moment, for he knew that the other still held a fear of rejection that had never fully disappeared, and so he instead sat patiently beside Loki. He knew not to push his husband, as it would only make him defensive, just as he knew not to withdraw lest he confirm Loki’s fears. It was best to stay put and let his simple presence reassure the other, even if he longed to reach out to him and take a hold of his hand yet again.

 

“It was my fault the war began. Odin and I instigated matters.”

 

Thor did not know how to react. It was a confession that he had not expected to hear for some time, but one that also came without any hidden motives. He believed that his husband sought to unburden his soul, which meant that he would likely feel vulnerable and exposed, and yet it was a subject that naturally induced negative feelings in Thor. He shook his head and gave a heavy sigh.

 

The air suddenly felt far colder, enough that the discomfort kept him alert and reminded him of how he owed it to Loki to provide him with his full attention. In truth, he found it difficult to look at Loki in that moment. The reminder of the part that his husband had played was difficult to endure, but more so when he had lost his mother and – in a way – his father in the process. Frigga’s death had changed Odin. He had become colder in the years; he was more likely to make decisions that would have once been attributed to Loki, and he had begun to feel almost ruthless.

 

“I would not blame you, if you hated me.”

 

“I do not hate you, Loki,” said Thor. “You made it known to me the part that you played during the war, but this is the first time that you have made mention of my father playing any role in the proceedings. I simply did not expect this confession.”

 

“Your latest – and _last_ – daughter has made me sentimental. It was not something that I had occasion to dwell upon; Fríða has proven to be more troublesome than you ever were, whilst Kóri has you running to me so often that I never have a moment of peace, and as such I never had time to give the matter thought. Lately I have thought often to myself at night whilst I lie awake, for Valdís’ approach is soon upon us . . .

 

“Fríða and Kóri are so unlike Mother, but our youngest daughter . . . what if she grows to be just like her? The very thought of looking each day upon the mother I lost, the mother I _killed_ . . . I know not how I would address her, or even if some part of Mother lived on to judge me through our daughter. I fear – worst of all – that I may somehow lead Valdís to death, just as I did her grandmother, or that she will be born still and without breath . . . I fear losing her, but it would be a just punishment, would it not? I need to make amends, for Valdís’ sake. I must speak the truth.”

 

“Loki, what lies are there left to make right?”

 

“More than I would wish.”

 

He turned to look at Thor. It was difficult to gaze at those green eyes, for the pain within them was so clear that it was almost as if Thor could feel that pain himself. They shimmered with unshed tears, although they both knew that he would not shed a single tear in a place that risked any other seeing them, and so he would hold in his emotions until they returned to their rooms. The cold air seemed to do Loki well, however, for his skin seemed full of colour and he no longer seemed lost to the fever that often consumed him. The sadness marred what was otherwise a perfect beauty.

 

Thor made to speak, but Loki stopped him by quickly taking his hand in his own. He held tight to Thor and allowed their hands to rest on his upper leg, although not in a spot so high as to be indecent, and he simply held them there as if he found great comfort in the other man’s presence. It was enough to silence Thor at once. He knew that Loki was loath to display affection in public, even if all the servants had retired for the evening on hearing Thor’s fury. Loki wished to speak from the heart.

 

The silence seemed to draw on for far too long, so much so that Thor became sensitive to the way that the sky had darkened considerably, and he felt the slow encroach of the nighttime more poignant than ever. It felt as if time had stood still, and – as his patience wore thin – it became harder and harder to remind himself that Loki needed time to unburden himself. He squeezed tightly upon his husband’s hand and moved to sit closer to him, so that their thighs touched and he could hear Loki’s sigh as he felt the cold metal of armour against him.

 

“You say my father had a part in this,” Thor said.

 

“Yes,” replied Loki. “I did not lie to you, but I am sure that you would argue otherwise. The things I told you – when Eir treated me, when the funeral took place, even so many years after – were all _half-truths_. I hid from you the part that Odin Allfather played, just as I hid from you how I worked with him to purposely cast those events into motion. I remember well how you looked as I lay there bloodless and bloody in the healing chamber, how you looked with Fríða in your arms . . .

 

“You were so cold and filled with great rage. You had nearly lost our daughter to the enemy, whilst your mother had been killed most brutally, and I – the creature that had been distrusted from the start – had played a direct part in this. I hid the truth of Odin’s part for two reasons and two reasons alone: to stay out of prison and to test the depths of your love. Aye, I manipulated you, but I feel no shame in that. Odin had sworn to imprison me should our part in this war be made clear, whilst denying all that I spoke as the simple words of a trickster and lie-smith, at which point I would have lost everything. I could not tell you the depths to which we sank.”

 

“You did not trust me to keep silent?”

 

“No, Thor. You would have been furious. Do you honestly claim that you would not have flown into a rage? Do you believe that you would not have confronted your father? No, you would have instantly have gone to him with my claims, and at that point you would have believed him or felt slighted by him. If you had believed him, I would never have seen you or my daughter again from my cell. If you had believed me, you would have fought with him to the extent that a civil war would have been brought about, as you would have sought to undermine his rule to free me.

 

“That could not be. I had done all that I had to create a realm worthy of my daughter, as well as to win my freedom and reputation, and my imprisonment and civil war would have ruined that. I believe your father knew this too, but a part of him expected me to betray him. Odin Allfather believed me only to care about sowing chaos and discord, so when I kept quiet – my lips sewn shut by honour – he felt an awkward dissatisfaction. He assumed I kept quiet to protect him.

 

“He made a pretence of distrusting me, but he would never find me guilty of my actions for he owed me for keeping his part quiet. He would want civil war far less than I ever would, as it would mean a loss of his position, and in turn he sought to test my trustworthiness further. He asked you whether I played a part in the events, knowing full well that I did, for he expected me to have told you _all or nothing_ , and – as such – you would have known the part he played had you known mine, _but you said nothing_. It meant that you either _knew_ nothing, in which case I was to be trusted, or you _loved_ me so much as to commit such a sin of inaction for me.”

 

Thor breathed deeply. It was difficult to comprehend how it had taken his husband so long to confess to such secrets, but a part of him thought he knew exactly why. They had sworn to change their relationship, to win each other’s trust and to be more open with one another, and – whilst he knew that Loki still held many secrets – he would have considered this a secret too important and dark to keep. It was essentially a betrayal, but one that also would have changed his very perception of his father.

 

It may have been that Loki sought to do him a favour by sparing him such a revelation, for he knew that Thor worshipped his father and loved him dearly, but it was clear that – whatever his reasoning – this had given him great guilt and shame. The story changed nothing about Loki’s part in the death of their mother, but it was perhaps the depths of his involvement . . . the forethought, the alliance with the man that he had hated, and even the depths of his planning . . . together they added into something that would have made things far worse for Loki. He had hidden what he likely felt to be his direct involvement: the ambition that led to her death.

 

“Loki, this changes nothing,” said Thor.

 

Loki stood up slowly and purposefully. It worried Thor for a brief moment, for he could almost feel his husband withdrawing away from him into a far darker place, but it seemed that the other man merely sought to collect his thoughts. He walked to the basin and looked into the water, where he raised his hand to trace patterns on the cool surface. Thor rose to follow him. He stood behind him and wrapped his arms around Loki’s waist, and relished the feeling of how Loki rested his free hand upon his arms and leaned his head back against his shoulder. It felt right.

 

“It changes what you think of your father,” replied Loki.

 

“My father that you assign such selfish motivations. I do not doubt that he grieves as strongly as you do, Loki, if not more . . . his love for our mother was as strong as my love for you, and he held a direct part in her death. I think no less of him, least of all when he looked the other way at your actions in order to spare you imprisonment once more. He loves you as Mother did.”

 

“Do you _truly_ think that he allowed me my freedom out of a fatherly love?”

 

“You are not the only one with secrets, Loki.”

 

It was then that his husband let out a harsh breath. He smashed his hand down into the water, causing the liquid to spill over the sides of the basin, before he then turned in Thor’s grasp to look at him directly. Thor smiled as he wrapped his arms around Loki’s back, although his husband’s swollen stomach stood between them as something of an obstacle, and as he relished in the moment of intimacy he felt Loki reach up to place his hands upon his shoulders. Loki sighed again.

 

“Father forbade me from telling you,” said Thor. “He never stopped loving you, Loki. You will always be like a son to him, even if there is no blood between you, and he confessed to me a desire to see you happy. I will tell you at length later.”

 

“It matters not. I know that you are merely trying to placate me.”

 

“Loki, I will not have further secrets between us.”

 

There was a sudden silence between them, where the only sounds were the distant chatter of servants and the breeze that blew through the garden. It was now so late that the darkness had completely consumed the day, so that soon the entirety of the palace would be together to sup upon the evening feast, and yet Thor knew that he and his husband would likely retire to their rooms. They could eat in privacy later, but for now Thor only wanted to stay by his husband’s side, even if Loki pouted at the idea.

 

“Oh, how lovely,” said Loki. “Now that all secrets are revealed, we may finally trust one another! I must say that I do adore your sense of romance. Talk of your father is _exactly_ the way to win my heart.”

 

Thor laughed loudly and held tighter to his husband. The press of the other’s swollen stomach against his body felt uncomfortable, but he did not doubt that – as uncomfortable as it was for himself – it would be doubly so for Loki. He buried his head into the crook of Loki’s neck, grateful for the fact that they were so close in height to make such a gesture possible, and began to leave small kisses on his skin.

 

“Your sarcasm is not appreciated, Loki.”

 

“Aye, it never is.”

 

“We will talk later in our rooms,” said Thor. “You may not believe me, but I have spoken at length with my father in the past and he had much good to speak of you. I should have told you sooner, but he swore me to secrecy and you had secrets of your own. It was not right to break his trust when you could not trust me in turn. I wish that you had confessed sooner, for you have prolonged your suffering needlessly.”

 

“You knew? Tell me, how long had you known?”

 

It was a difficult question to answer. Thor froze for a brief instant, so that his lips stayed still on otherwise burning skin, and when he pulled away he caught the serious look in his husband’s green eyes. There was a glimmer of frustration and yet also amusement in Loki’s expression, which was difficult to comprehend and made Thor feel fearful about how to progress, for he feared that Loki – despite keeping secrets himself – would feel distrusted or neglected.

 

Thor gently took Loki by the shoulders and pushed him back, but only enough so as to be able to look at his husband properly. He needed to see him completely, to be able to judge his expression and watch for his reactions, and – most of all – he needed Loki to know that he was loved and would never be rejected or abandoned. Thor rested his hands on his husband’s shoulders and began to rub firmly upon them, whilst he leaned his head down so that their foreheads pressed against one another. It felt good to be so close to the one he loved beyond all else. He smiled and kept his eyes locked with Loki’s, whilst he resisted the temptation to kiss him.

 

“I knew about my father’s involvement for some years,” Thor confessed. “It was not difficult to work out the few remaining details, as such it did not take long for me to confront him and for him to reveal all. I did not wish for you to feel pressured into speaking about things you would rather not discuss, and I wanted for you to confess such doing because you trusted me, not because you felt forced.”

 

“I feel almost ashamed that I underestimated you.”

 

“Aye, so you should!”

 

Thor smiled warmly. It was a relief to see the slight smirk on Loki’s lips in return, just as it was a comfort to see the way that his hand rested so lovingly on the swell to his stomach, for Valdís had not been planned and Loki still held many fears in his heart. There was no greater feeling than to know that his husband finally began to see Thor as the man he had become, with virtues as well as flaws, or that he loved their daughter even as she slept inside him. There were no longer any secrets.

 

“I am glad that you finally felt ready to confess,” said Thor.

 

“I could not stand the guilt any longer,” replied Loki. “I needed to tell you for the sake of our mother, for your sake . . . for my sake. Now you understand why I cannot train or teach Kóri . . . I would be too bad an influence upon him.”

 

“Do you realise that the more you seek to distance yourself from our children, the more that they shall become the very things to which you fear? I know you do not wish for Kóri to grow to be like you, but neither Kóri nor I can see any greater honour than to be like one so intelligent and talented, and you shall never be a bad influence. Any ill deeds you have committed have been redeemed.”

 

“You never could see me for who I truly am.”

 

“You never could see yourself as I do.”

 

The smile that painted itself on Loki’s lips was sad and broken; it was almost as if he had forced the expression in order to hide the pain behind that familiar mask. Thor could remember well the last time that he had seen such a smile, for it had been the day after Frigga’s funeral where Thor had found Loki lying bloody in their destroyed bathroom, a sight that had instilled great fear as memories of their first consummation sprung to his mind. He had sworn in that instant to never see his husband so broken again. He owed it to Loki to be honest, to reassure him of his love.

 

“I trust you, Loki, completely.”

 

“I wish I could call you a fool, but I cannot . . .”

 

“That is because you know as well as I that you can be trusted. We can move forward now, do you understand that? We no longer have secrets. I love you so much, more than I ever thought possible, and each day those feelings grow. You complete me.”

 

“Such sentimentality is somewhat sickening.”

 

“You do not love me, also?”

  
Loki gave a sound not unlike a growl. He swatted away Thor’s hands, but Thor merely brought them back up and wrapped them around Loki’s neck instead. It was not a possessive or violent hold, for he could never hurt his husband even in their most angry moments, but instead it was merely an expression of intimacy and complete trust. Thor rubbed light lines along Loki’s jaw and leaned in so close that noses touched, and he could feel Loki’s heavy and annoyed sigh against his lips.

 

“I love you, Thor,” he whispered. “I love you.”

 

He had not expected the kiss that followed, even if such kisses were given freely and often since their romance had truly begun. The force of the kiss, however, was not a surprise to him in the least. It was known that his husband found such emotional confessions to be difficult, for he still associated intimacy with vulnerability, and as such he seemed to seek to gain complete control of the kiss. Thor allowed it for only a moment longer, before he pulled away reluctantly.

 

It would not do to allow the kiss to continue for too long, for Loki’s pregnancies had the fortunate – sometimes unfortunate – effect of giving him stronger urges than he otherwise would, and Thor did not wish to risk indecent behaviour where they could be seen by any passing soul. He pulled away and caught the flush to Loki’s cheeks. Loki glared darkly at Thor, but soon his eyes softened and he looked away with an almost loving expression. The sigh to his husband’s lips was one of resignation and not of distaste, which was something of a relief to Thor, especially when Loki returned his gaze with an almost devilish – if not suspicious – stare. It seemed that his husband was back to normal, after all.

 

“Very well, I will speak to Kóri,” said Loki.

 

“You do not know what that means to me, Husband.”

 

“In turn, _you_ will speak to Fríða. I dislike the way she spends time with that strange boy about the palace. I am tired of hearing you speak of how such relationships may be platonic, words of how Lady Sif is your greatest friend, for this is _not_ the same. I do not want Vígi to spend time alone with our daughter. She takes too much after you, but – unlike you – she has the ability to fall with child. Deal with it, Thor.”

 

“She is barely an adolescent, but if it worries you so . . .”

 

“Thank you, and Thor -?”

 

Thor gave a sigh and looked to his husband. He expected some form of chastisement, especially when he was sure that he had just been tricked into disciplining Fríða, but the smirk on Loki’s lips was playful and a little bit flirtatious. It seemed that his husband was quite happy and only had something kind to say. Loki reached up to stroke Thor’s face and whispered gently:

 

“I love you.”

 

 

 


End file.
